Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize