I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
