I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
please don't ironically join a cult
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