one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
