So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
