video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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