I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
