He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pants are for mortals
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize