she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
