So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
