Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
