I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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