so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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