You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
