Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
