Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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