You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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