Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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