I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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