And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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