we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
