i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You're like the curious george of whores
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
