So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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