Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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