Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize