he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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