It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
