You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She's the barista slut.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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