I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
