Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
