I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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