Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
