it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
