whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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