it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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