p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
