I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
