I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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