I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dating After Heartbreak
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.