Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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