I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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