ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
