Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
