He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
