Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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