I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
