First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
