You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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