need another drink. this is the easiest way
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
