just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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