I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
