party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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