I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
