Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
