Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
