just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
