so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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