you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
